The Lord Is On Our Side

Psalm 130:1-2 “From the depths of despair, O Lord, I call for your help. Hear my cry, O Lord. Pay attention to my prayer.” Oh those difficult times life throws at us. Sometimes we have those years when everywhere you turn, things just keep going from bad to worse. My husband and I had one of those times. We went through the loss of a business, the loss of our financial stability, and then we faced the worst of all, the loss or our daughter Katie! I felt like we were following in the footsteps of Job. I read Psalm 124 and see how grateful I am that we clung to our faith in the Lord. No problem is too difficult for Him. What if we had turned our back on Him? Psalm 124 describes what could have been our fate if we had chosen to walk away. We would have been swallowed alive in our burning anger. The waters of grief would have engulfed us. The raging waters of grief would have overwhelmed every part of our being. Make no mistake. In those early years, grief was hard, and we often felt outdone by what we faced, but we knew the Lord was on our side. We praised the Lord because He did not let the teeth of the evil one tear us apart. We escaped from his trap and we are free from the one who wanted to destroy us. We were not defeated, but we know we will endure forever. Lord, no wonder my heart is glad and I rejoice. My body rests in safety. For You will not leave my soul among the dead, or allow Your holy one to rot in the grave. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasure of living with You forever. – Michele

God is with me EVERYWHERE

I had heard enough about an MRI exam to be somewhat apprehensive when my doctor decided it would be a good diagnostic tool to give reason to the aches and pains I was having. The call from the scheduler definitely quieted some of that apprehension, not because she gave me an oh-don’t-worry-about-it, but because she spelled out some of the things patients do get apprehensive about, and just knowing what to expect helped to relieve some of the qualms of the unknown. Still, the morning of my exam had me praying from home to the MRI location. And the forty-five minute wait didn’t help either. And then, my name was called by a cheerful assistant. A few minutes in the dressing room preceded my being introduced to the MRI machine. It dominated the small room I was in, being much larger than I had expected, but that also meant the tunnel I was about to enter, had a far greater diameter than I had expected, and entering in a flat-on-my-back position, much like the position I was cozy in for an afternoon nap, I also entered feet first, so my head was the last part of my body being absorbed by what I then realized was a well lit enclosure. I had been told to be still, but I was also given a squeeze ball, in case for some reason, I needed to exit prematurely of the expected twenty minute exam. I tried napping, and that helped to keep me still, but my thinking needed a place to focus because the nap wasn’t coming. I was praying again, just for a quietness to saturate my spirit. And then suddenly, the hymns of my childhood and the promises from the Gaither songs I had always loved, began to rehearse themselves in my thinking. I lay there, consumed with the goodness of my God, the God who promises His presence and His peace, even in an MRI tunnel. I was totally relaxed, and a buzzer interrupted one of the hymns to tell me my time was over. And it seemed, it all happened so quickly. The next morning, my close friend sent me an online video of a song that was only vaguely familiar, but the words captured my time with God the previous day. I love You, Lord. Oh, Your mercy never fails me and all my days, I’ve been held in Your hands. ... You have been faithful ... You have been so, so good ... You have led me ... You were close like no other ... You are my provider and You lead me and guide me by Your Spirit and Your word. I have never walked alone. I knew my God had stayed with me in the tunnel and He had made His presence known, but I knew too, I have been in tunnels that were much, much darker, and much more threatening. I knew also that a few other friends were struggling in the reality of life – realities that were raw with grief, both already weighing them down with its pain, emptiness, and questioning doubt, and grief that was gnawing because it was still imminent, but it was dark with its imminence. Relationships were being stretched and responsibilities were outweighing available resources. In my MRI tunnel, I just wanted the reminder that my God never leaves and He always, always provides. Even in the middle of doubt and apprehension.. Even in the turmoil that far, far exceeds the MRI. So, I forwarded the song that had encouraged and reminded me yet again, and I prayed that my friends would hear not only a song of warmth, but a song of promises. My God will never, never leave me. And He will always, always, make my impossible reality, possible. – Bev (Related Bible reading: Psalm 139:1- 12; Psalm 23:1-6; Hebrews 13:5,6)

He Heals the Brokenhearted

Psalms 147:3-5 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit.” I’ve been thinking a lot about how special and unique the Lord created a mother’s love for her child; it is like no other love found on this earth; it is a protective and fierce love, a deep and unconditional love that belongs only to that child. It is a love that is unequaled and unusual in that a mother is truly willing to lay her life down for that child. And that is exactly what she does the moment that baby comes into the world; she puts herself on the back burner and places her child before her each and every day and every single decision she makes, she makes for the sake of that child’s well-being and for that child’s future. There was a bond that occurred in the womb when the Lord attached my child to me with a life-giving rope called an umbilical cord and that rope forever links me and my son together and from the moment I held him, I knew a completely different and distinctive kind of love. When the Lord took my child to his eternal home in Heaven, a huge piece of me left this earth and only a part of me remains here. The Lord says that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds, but He doesn’t say how long that process will take. I believe for mothers who have lost children, that part of ourselves will never ever return to us until we see our children once more, face to face in Heaven. But in the meantime, our God is still great and mighty in power and His understanding is limitless. He truly understands this type of love because God sent His one and only Son to earth so that we would know His heart, so that we would understand His protective, fierce love, His deep and unconditional love, that is unique and unequivocal, that is only reserved for His children. The Bible talks a lot about the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” After the death of my precious child, I was inconsolable, I cried myself to sleep with guttural cries that came from the deep substrata of my soul; the pain and ache that consumed me as a result of losing my son seemed to me that it would overtake me and that I would truly die. When I woke the next morning, the ache in my heart was even greater and the hole in my family was evident by the fact that he was no longer here on this earth and the knowledge that my family is now incomplete just broke me and for just a moment, my faith wavered. I reached for my phone and there from my pastor was a message telling me there were ten things God wanted me to remember during this time, ten promises He wanted me to know. 1. I will give rest. 2. I will strengthen you. 3. I will answer you. 4. I believe in you. 5. I will bless you. 6. I am for you. 7. I will not fail you. 8. I will provide for you. 9. I will be with you. And 10. I will love you. As I opened the word for my morning devotion and I asked myself, “why do I doubt His love for me, when He is so faithful?” I know if I had His perspective, that I would understand why He took such a beautiful gift He had given me, away; I would understand His purpose and His plan for my life from here on out, but at that moment and time I did not understand; all I knew was the pain and sorrow, the grief and the heartache were fresh and raw. And once again, He brings me to my life verse, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10.) – Melody

Days Turn to Years

Job 3:6 “Let that night be blotted off the calendar, never again to be counted among the days of the year, never again to appear among the months.” Oh how the book of Job speaks truthfully of the pain and struggle of life. July 2,1997 is forever a day I will never forget. It was the day my daughter Katie was received into the arms of the Lord. At the beginning of this trial, I counted the hours of my daughter’s absence. Then came the days. I remember waking up the first morning realizing nothing would ever be the same. Job 3:25, what I had always feared, happened to me. What I had dreaded, had come true. Isn’t that always a parent’s worst fear, to have a child die? Then came the first month. Opening my eyes on that first month, wondering how I have lived a whole month without my daughter. How can I live the rest of my life in this much pain? Job 6:11-13 Job cries out, “I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for. Do I have the strength of a stone? Is my body made of bronze? No, I am utterly helpless, without any chance of success.” Soon those hours, days and months turned into a year. My daughter’s death had not destroyed me yet. I was still holding on to the God of comfort. Job 23:10-11, Job writes He knows where I am going and when He tests me, I will come out as pure as gold. For I have stayed on God’s paths; I have followed his ways and not turned aside. Soon my year turned into two and then five and ten. I have now walked through 25 years of walking through July 2,1997. He has been so faithful to me through my 25 and a half years. If you are early in your walk keep on keeping on. It is a long and hard road but I promise you, it is a road worth traveling. That day, July 2 1997, is a day that cannot be blotted off the calendar. It is a day that happened. It is a day that changed me and my life forever. Every year that day greets me with a heart full of gratitude. I am grateful for having Katie in my life for seventeen years. It goes without saying that I would have loved to have had her longer than I did. One day I will see her again. There will be no calendar or counted days. Just forever You turn mourning to dancing You give beauty for ashes You turn shame into glory You’re the only one who can. You turn graves into gardens You turn bones into armies You turn seas into highways You’re the only one who can. Graves into Gardens Brandon Lake – Michele