Thoughts Under the Umbrella

Jesus one day decided to take Peter, James and John on a hike high in the mountains. God often showed His full glory on these high places and that day would be no different. The Bible tells us that Jesus was transfigured. His face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as light. What a sight Jesus must have been. The full power and glory of God had to drop these three men to their knees. To be that close to seeing and feeling the presence of God had to give them a peace that is indescribable. These three men were up there for a purpose. They were there to understand the words Jesus had been preaching and to learn He was who He said He was. What if these three men would have decided to sit on that mountain and bask in this feeling? What if they chose to never come down off that mountaintop? They could have moved on in their life and kept what they had seen and heard and tucked it away. These men knew God had other plans for them. Jesus knew the people who were living down in the valley were hurting and in need of some hope. Peter, James and John fulfilled God’s purpose in their life and came down off that mountaintop and taught the Word of God and gave the valley residents hope.

I know a mother who was living in that valley and who was in desperate need of hope. Her name is Michele Paul. After I lost my seventeen-year-old daughter, Katie, to a brain aneurysm, I found myself living in a new place I was very unfamiliar with. I was as far from that mountaintop as I could be, even though now I see God was right there beside me. I was living in the shadow of the valley of death. I had the hope of salvation and I knew one day I would see my daughter again. My problem was how I live each day until that day when we would be reunited. How do I live another minute without seeing her beautiful eyes and her warm smile?  How do I exist without another conversation with my daughter?  This was all unchartered territory for me. I felt lost and alone even though I was surrounded by people who loved me. This unchartered territory was a place where everyday things that were so easy to navigate in my past, I now was unable to accomplish. I could not gather my thoughts to do simple things like grocery shopping or clean my house. I felt like I was going crazy. I remember the first time I was asked how many children I had. That had always been such an easy thing to answer. I had a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes as I struggled for what words were appropriate. If I said two, was I fibbing? If I said one, would I be denying my very child’s existence? This valley was almost impossible to navigate by myself, even though I know the Lord was holding me. I needed someone to come down from that mountaintop who had walked this journey before me.

God uses everyday people to do His work. He used His disciples to spread the gospel. Each one of us who has lost a child is just a mom. We are moms who have been through the valley of death. Some of us have been transformed and have found our way back to the mountaintop. We are ready for God to use us in whatever way He sees fit. Are you willing to come back into the valley and help those who are trying to find their way back to the mountaintop?  We have opened our hearts into the valley and are giving hope to the many moms who are still trying to navigate this difficult journey. It is probably the hardest journey we will ever take in our lifetime. We have so many more moms to reach. We have the arms to hold them, the strength to carry them, and the heart to listen to their pain. We are so thankful to each of you who have come down from the mountain alongside us and helped us because you have propped us up to do God’s purpose. 

                                                                                                                            – Michele  (I have two daughters, Katie in heaven and Sarah here on earth.)